Posts tagged as 'bartending'

Sunday’s Ground Gears

The title of this post goes as far to suggest that whilst Sunday is the day of rest for misguided Christians, it is always without fail a day of frustration for myself. But alas, it isn’t. I don’t spend my Sundays doing a great deal as a precautionary measure; the fewer things I come into contact with, the fewer things can rub me up the wrong way. It just happened to be this particular Sunday that a couple of things buried themselves in my skull and tagged themselves under ‘annoyances.’ Maybe I was especially succeptable to irritations that day (unlikely, I just have to think about the possibility of it raining within the next few months and I’m fuming), or maybe it had come to my attention that I should write a blog post and set about observing potential subjects. I’ve got a post in the pipeline about my recent experiences ...

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How to ensure a bartender thinks you’re an idiot [Part 3]

And so we have arrived at the final installment of this series; and I hope you've enjoyed yourselves to a certain degree, however miniscule. This could have no doubt been bashed out as a two-part piece, but trilogies just generally the done thing aren't they – and true to style just like a majority of every other trilogy finale, this closing chapter really scrapes the barrel and makes you question why you ever liked one of the first two. If you fancy reminiscing on the good times we once shared, all that time ago, you can find parts one and two here and here, respectively. And so without further ado: expeliarmus! Initiate a game of “Guess The Mixer!” This complaint is a new kid on the block – and I've no idea how it came about. It involves a customer asking for a spirit and then just expecting the bartender to know ...

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How to ensure a bartender thinks you’re an idiot [Part 2]

If you missed part one, you can check it out here. So we've checked off most of the common complaints – now we're delving into the depths of my personal niggles. And I'm easily niggled. I have nothing witty to say, let's continue... The late Guinness. Okay so this is nothing new; the call for the late Guinness has been a ball ache ubiquitous in bartenders worldwide. This is of course due to the fact that a properly poured Guinness takes time. Thankfully, bars have developed in the bartender's favour and now usually come complete with dreadful taps that murder the drink and leave you best off pulling the whole pint straight up. Still, in those sacred places where a proper Guinness is more than a dream, it's a real pain. Hanging around for peanuts. You've just bought a round for £19.90 and you've paid with a twenty. This is the time to leave the ...

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How to ensure a bartender thinks you’re an idiot [Part 1]

This is part one in a series of a currently unknown number, which I should probably confess has a somewhat misleading title. The complete collection will be a list of things which, whilst working in various bars, have come to grind my gears. And being just a miserable and unreasonably intolerant person means that the title should be: “How to ensure a bartender thinks you're an idiot, providing the bartender is Thom Curtis.” There will be certain entries which will have undoubtedly caused distress for a high percentage of all bartenders, and there will be some which just nark me off personally. So share in my pain, or write me off as a decent human being altogether. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin. Flash your cash. “Oh, I'm sorry sir. It's lucky you're waving that twenty pound note in my face, I was completely oblivious to the wall of people wanting to be ...

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